My favorite parts of any Bond movie are the Bond Girl and the Bond Song. So I'll be pointing out each for each movie. And I also track what I call the "Oh, James!" where the Bond Girl suddenly becomes useless after kissing Bond. It's my favorite Bond trope.
I grew up with the Pierce Brosnan Bond movies. I remember seeing most of them in the movie theater. I especially remember seeing this one back in 2002. I'm sure back then, I was totally into the invisible car or whatever. But now that stuff just seems...pathetic and desperate. This movie has early 2000s written all over it. I can barely follow the plot. The dialogue tries to be clever but it's way overwritten. And it's just not very fun. I can't even remember who the villain is or what he wants. Just not very memorable.
The song: Madonna's Die Another Day is so bad. Weird, techno nonsense with dumb references to Frued.
The girls: Halle Berry (awful) and Rosamund Pike (fine)
Aside from Christopher Lee's on point performance as the villain Scaramanga, Golden Gun is just too over the top. Between bad sound effects, lame side characters and the totally dated and vaguely racist kung fu backdrop, the movie just does not work and it even fails at going into so-bad-it's-good territory.
The song: Lulu's song is decent but just not very memorable or sensual.
The girls: Maud Adams is fine but will be better and poor Britt Ekland is given the worst written character in Bond history. She's the queen of the "Oh, James!" syndrome.
Roger Moore's last film is such a slog to get through. At 57, the poor guy looks like he is huffung and puffing through the movie, romancing actresses who could be his daughter. The action scenes are laborious and not even a maniacal Christopher Walken can save the film. Let's not even talk about how like thousands of people die in collateral damage. Bond movies just aren't supposed to have real world consequences unless that's what they're going for. This is not going for real world.
The song: Duran Duran actually had a pretty good song, though it's a little too 80s for my taste.
The girls: I shudder to think of Roger Moore with helpless Tanya Roberts but Grace Jones is totally cool in this movie.
I actually really enjoy the first hour of this movie. It's slick, interesting and thrilling. But the goodwill is lost with the introduction of Denise Richards as Dr. Christmas Jones. The plot of this movie had potential and I love Sophie Marceau as a female Bond villain Electra. But I hate the climax; it just becomes lunacy but not in a good way. It feels unecessarily convoluted. And it could have been saved by a more credible actress in the role of Dr. Jones.
The song: Garage did the song; it's good.
The girls: Love Marceau, actively dislike Richards. Yikes.
This movie has some great stuff going for it: sweet action, interesting plot and Roger Moore just on the cusp of his "getting too old for this," For Your Eyes Only feels really wannabe hip; it doesn't feel like a classic Bond even though it hits all the right marks. I liked the overall plot; insane but not overly convulted. As enjoyable as it can be, I don't find myself longing to watch it over and over.
The song: Silky, sensual and smooth, I love Sheena Easton's song.
The girls: Melina Havelock? Yes. Bibi Dahl: BIG NO (it looks like Bond is hanging out with a high school freshman).
Again, I really like the first half but when the film goes into the Middle East it seems like it gets lost. It becomes too confusing for its own good. Timothy Dalton is a great Bond and in a different era, with some better written films, he could have become the best. I like this movie a lot, especially its more realistic tone after the humorous last few Bond movies with Roger Moore.
The song: a-ha's song is just so European club in the 80s, I love it. It feels just enough like a Bond song but a-ha clearly put their own stamp on it.
The girls: Maryam D'abo is great in her role but it's Julie T. Wallace's cameo as the pipeline worker Rosika who has a really funny scene.
There's a myth going on that Thunderball is one of the best Bond films. No, it's not! It has a lot of great moments, both genuinely great (the villains and henchmen) and cringe-worthy great (Bond and that poor spa nurse). But I take umbrage with the endless underwater sequences. The movie runs a whopping 130 minutes of it and about 30 of that is underwater. The story is really interesting and I wish this movie had been cut down to a svelte 115.
The song: Tom Jones' Thunderball is terrific. A song called Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was supposed to be used and it felt more Bond but the producers thought audiences wouldn't like a song that didn't have the title in the lyrics.
The girls: Domino Derval (Claudine Auger) is sweet and totally hot, while her counterpart Fiona Volpe (Luciana Paluzzi) is sexy and dangerous.
At 8 years old, I saw TND in the theaters (my first experience with 007!) and fell in love with the guy and his schtick. So I have a soft affection for this film even though looking at it now it makes zero sense. The villain wants to create world disaster so he can be the first to report it? Okay, sure, guys, let's go with that. TND is a good example of how the Brosnan films could have been totally special but failed to find that nuance between jokey Bond and serious Bond. It has good action, a thin plot and Brosnan still struggles to nail the character.
The song: Sheryl "the first cut is the deepest, baby I know" Crow sang a Bond song. Of all the weird Bond singer choices, this has to be one of the weirdest. But it's not a bad song. Baby, I know she tried.
The girls: Teri Hatcher's falling dress is iconic but probably only to me. I liked that she was an ex-flame. But Michelle Yeoh as Col. Wai Lin is the highlight.
QOS had the impossible task of coming after monster hit Casino Royale (discussed below). And as the middle part of the Craig-era origin story trilogy, it struggles because it's not the Bond formula. As a standalone movie, it works kind of but it works better as a direct sequel. Like with Kill Bill Vol. 2, you can watch it on its own and enjoy parts of it but it plays much better directly after the first part. Mathieu Almaric makes for an interesting villain but I find it hard to wrap my head around his master plan. Major points to QOS because it is GORGEOUS. The film is stylish and precise; each set piece is unique.
The song: The less said about Jack White and Alicia Keys' Another Way to Die the better. Both deserve a second shot.
The girls: Gemma Arteton's Goldfinger inspired death is interesting. Olga Kurylenko is awesome as the Bond Girl with her own mission who refreshingly does not "Oh, James!" herself into uselessness.
Dalton's 2nd and final effort is a major dark-horse Bond movie for me. It's not that good but it attempts to be different. Its ugly, gruesome vibe directly contrasts the polished, sexy glamor of previous Bond films. Had this film been made now, it would have become a classic but unfortunately it becomes too 80s to be timeless. I love the climax; it is so violent and insane. Benicio Del Toro as a henchman is a major highlight, foreshadowing his own insane career. And Q gets to be part of the action! This movie is pretty awesome if you can look past how the story gets a little draggy towards its middle section.
The song: Gladys Knight's song is pretty cool but I like the end credits song, If You Asked Me To by Patti LaBelle better.
The girls: Cary Lowell and Talisa Soto make for a pair of contrasting Bond Girls: one capable and cool, the other emotional and sexual. Luckily neither one dies for her association with Bond.
There are a lot of great things about Octopussy aside from the genius title. It's fun and the India sequences have a zany, frantic pace to them. I know this movie isn't too popular with the circus scenes (it doesn't make any sense on any level). But I enjoy this one for what it's worth. The climax of the movie is pretty exciting for me and the henchmen and villains are not too incompetent. Octopussy is the kind of Bond film I usually won't think to put on when I'm itching for some 007 but every so often I'll want to revisit it.
The song: Rita Coolidge's All Time High is a little weak; it's a decent song but is pretty generic.
The girls: Maud Adams' title character is pretty cool but she's one of the most egregious victims of the script "Oh, James!"-ing her into uselessness. Henchwoman Magda is great. Her sliding down her sari off a balcony is one of the coolest moments in a Bond movie.
A lot of people don't like Moonraker. I'm second guessing putting it at #12 even as I type this. But of all the bad Bond movies, this one is a spectacular disaster. It's so beautifully misguided that it wraps back around and becomes good. As lame as the Star Wars-inspired sci-fi elements are, at least it's something different. I think Bond movies should be praised for stepping out of the car chase and bullet zone and trying to make the films stand out. The story is quite horrific if you think about it and for a goofy spy/space thriller, the consequences of the story are pretty out there. So this one is worth checking out for its ludicrousness.
The song: Shirley Bassey's song is heart-stopping beautiful. Seriously, guys, it is a pure ethereal love song and somehow the use of the title in the lyrics isn't clunky or weird.
The girls: Lois Chile plays a NASA scientist named Dr. Holly Goodhead. HOLLY. GOODHEAD, people! She's actually not a bad character.
Sean Connery's swan song as Bond (ignoring Never Say Never Again as one should) is a decent thriller. There are some excellent elements like Mr. White and Mr. Kidd, the probably gay assassins. The movie feels episodic, going from situation to situation and the structure works. This feels like a detective story with plot threads building up to big conclusion. Sure, the climax is a bit over the top but Diamonds are Forever finds that right balance of being goofy but rather enjoyably so. It retains that 60s cool sophistication while still being modern for the early 70s. Connery feels bored through the film, which is disappointing. But I guess this was a paycheck role so whatever.
The song: "Men are mere mortals who/ are not worth going to/ YOUR GRAAAVE FOOOR!" Words to live by from Shirley Bassey. This is one of the best Bond songs of all time.
The girls: Lana Wood is smoking hot in her small role as Plenty O'Toole. Jill St. John starts out cool and mysterious but the "Oh, James!" curse strikes again! She becomes a blubbering idiot as the movie goes on.
Roger Moore makes a stunning debut in this movie, which takes place in the dangerous and magical world of voodoo. This is a great James Bond movie, even with some dumb elements like Sheriff Pepper or whatever his name is. The film stops dead in its tracks for an extended car/boat chase and the movie loses its good will. The movie gets it back eventually. If you can ignore the racism and the sexism (if you can't then 007 probably isn't for you), the film is relatively fast-paced and has a thrilling climax. Live and Let Die is very much James Bond in the 70s; the movie is totally groovy.
The song: One of the most iconic and enduring songs in Bond history. Live and let dieeeeeee. Wings killed it.
The girls: Jane Seymour-totally great. Gloria Hendry as "Agent" Rosie: one of the most offensive uses of the "Oh, James!" nonsense.
Pierce Brosnan makes his debut in this one and it's a really strong film. I think the plot is quite clever, Sean Bean makes for a terrific villain ("for England, James") and the action is really cool. What I like about Goldeneye is that it feels like an intimate story (obviously it was an inspiration for Skyfall). Judi Dench also starts her run as M and it's easy to forget what a landmark moment it was. Goldeneye is a little too long and as usual the beginning is more fun than the ending. But it's essential.
The song: Tina Turner sings this song and it's pretty sexy. But there are some strange lyrics.
The girls: Everyone talks about Famke Janssen as Xenia Onatopp (and they should; if you're going to die, you might as well get killed by her). But Izabella Scorupco as Natalya Simonova is a terrific Bond Girl. She's more of a co-lead than a simple love interest.
James Bond goes to Japan and the results are what you think they'd be. The first 2/3rds of this movie are excellent. I love when Bond plays detective and the story is intriguing. But then Bond, played by brawny, strapping, 6 foot something Scottish Sean Connery, tries to pass as a Japanese fisherman and it's probably the most racist thing I've ever seen in my entire life. The action is pretty great and Blofeld's appearance in this film is iconic. Most things parodied about Bond come from this movie. As questionable as it can be, You Only Live Twice is classic. So while some people are all about the #YOLO, I'm crazy for the #YOLT.
The song: Nancy Sinatra's song is smooth and glorious. One of my favorite Bond themes.
The girls: Aki Wakabayashi is awesome as Aki, the Japanese agent. Kissy Suzuki played by Mie Hamm is pretty but doesn't really add much.
A lot of people consider this THE James Bond movie. It has the most iconic image in Bond history-the girl painted gold-and one of the most famous Bond songs. But I think the memory of it is more powerful than the film itself. Goldfinger is a great spy thriller, albeit one with a somewhat tedious middle section. There are moments that feel inert though the film isn't very long. Auric Goldfinger is such a powerful Bond villain, crazy, selfish, childish. Goldfinger is such a memorable film. Let's not forget Oddjob: he is what every Bond henchman should strive to be-dangerous, silent and ruthless.
The song: GOOOOOWWWLDFINGHAHHHHH! Shirley Bassey's classic rendition of this sexy song is one of the major moments of movie music history.
The girls: The Masterson sisters leave their mark. While Pussy Galore doesn't get "Oh, James!"-ed, her treatment in this movie is borderline homosexual conversion therapy. She's pretty cool initially.
This film is as close as the Bond movies are going to get to a romantic comedy. Well, a romantic comedy that features a madman wanting to recreate humanity under the sea. The sparring between Roger Moore's Bond and Anya Amasova, played by Mrs. Ringo Starr Barbara Bach, has a lot of charm. Their chemistry carries this film and I like that the focus is more on their push-pull relationship, keeping the film from getting bogged down by the plot. Curd Jurgens makes for a compelling villain but the real star is the late Richard Kiel as Jaws, the only Bond henchman to reappear (he was also in Moonraker). Jaws is also a really iconic figure in Bond history.
The song: Nobody Does It Better, sung by Carly Simon, is a really famous song. It's sweet and sweeping and I imagine it featured as a lot of first dance songs at wedding receptions. Or perhaps "in memoriam" slideshows. "But like heaven above me/ the spy who loved me/ is keeping all my secrets safe tonight."
The girls: I can't tell if Bach is a good actress or not but she is beautiful and Amasova remains relevant, which is great. Caroline Munro is quite cool as the villain's right hand man Naomi.
When you watch Dr. No again, it's weird how much of the Bond iconography comes from this first film. The structure, the clothes, the girls, the labyrinth climax, the locales--it's all there. The film does lack an action prologue and, while the Bond as detective vibe has returned a lot, this film is really more of a mystery than a thriller. While some viewers may have issues with the deliberate pacing, for me that's part of the charm. Dr. No, though the filmmakers probably didn't know it at the time, needed to set up an entire series and universe. Dr. No is a major classic and it's an amazingly strong start to the series. Even 50+ years later, Dr. No is still the baseline template that the makers are starting from.
The song: Dr. No does not feature a title song, instead the opening credits feature the famous Bond theme, then transitions to a Jamaican dance beat to match the setting. The transition is weird but the music is cool.
The girls: All three Bond Girls, Sylvia Trench who gives Bond his catchphrase, the duplicitous Miss Taro and main Bond Girl Honey Ryder have shaped the way Bond Girls have been portrayed through the series. Seriously the far-reaching effects of this film are truly commendable. Honey Ryder unfortunately set the precedent for "Oh, James!" but I can't fault her for it because the other films didn't have to follow it.
Skyfall was probably the closest Bond going to get to a Best Picture nomination. The movie, ruminating on the effects of old age and dispensability, has a sad, melancholic vibe. The cinematography is terrific, with prolific DP Roger Deakins behind the camera. Skyfall broke 007 box office records (over $1 billion worldwide) and it's the conclusion to the unofficial Daniel Craig trilogy--now we can go back to the Bond formula. With a new M, a Moneypenny and a Q, Skyfall sets up the series as we knew it. The film has a relatively smaller scale because the villain Raul Silva (Javier Bardem) is targeting MI6 only. It's an interesting story (though sadly not one that holds up to scrutiny). Skyfall is important because it's a reminder that James Bond, both the character and the series, is still relevant in modern culture. By merely twisting the 60s-era Bond style, Skyfall retains that cool sophistication but keeps it modern.
The song: Adele's Skyfall won the Oscar and it's one of the best songs. Adele was born to sing for 007.
The girls: I love Berenice Marlohe as Severine; her character has weight even though she has little screen time. Naomie Harris makes for a flirty, cool Eve Moneypenny. Judi Dench takes on the Bond Lady role and it's AWESOME.
George Lazenby only did 1 Bond movie but it's a pretty great one. OHMSS plays with how we picture Bond: he's vulnerable, not invincible. He gets hurt and he feels. While I can understand how that was too radical for the audience at that time, nowadays it works. OHMSS is not perfect and if it had been made now it would have been better. The brainwashing plot is pretty out there but interesting and the villains/henchmen are great. The action is crisp and exciting; the climax is beautifully staged. I honestly think the modern Bond filmmakers looked at this film to bring back a human element to Bond. Bond the hero is awesome but Bond the person has a longer shelf life.
The song: No title song but the opening credits theme music is BANGIN'. Louis Armstrong's We Have All the Time in the World is the secondary theme song and it's lovely.
The girls: TRACY BOND, the 2nd most important woman in Bond history. She is the perfect Bond Girl. You also have the girls at the "allergy clinic," who are ethnically diverse and eat ethnically appropriate meals.
.png)
Daniel Craig was a controversial choice for Bond because he's...blond? But he proved them haterz all wrong with his rugged intensity, quiet vulnerability and just simple coolness. Casino Royale functions as a "reboot" of the series, but it does pay respects to the films that came before it. My favorite thing about this movie is that it does play with ambiguity. There is a lot of mystery here and the script is pretty nuanced. I love the direction of this film, the use of stuntwork and of course the relationship between Bond and Vesper Lynd (Eva Green). Casino Royale showed that the film series still had life to it and that it had interesting something to say about loyalty, masculinity and love in a dangerous world.
The song: Chris Cornell's You Know My Name is decent.
The girls: Eva Green's portrayal of Vesper Lynd is brilliant. She redefined the Bond Girl. Their love story is the backbone of the movie and it is exceptional.
As influential as Dr. No is, From Russia with Love is the better expression of Bond as detective. Plus this film features a lot of Cold War intrigue to its benefit, upping the suspense and fleshing out various supporting characters like Kerim Bey, villain Rosa Klepp and one of the scariest henchmen, brick wall hunk Red Grant. The film also features a nasty, brutal train fight scene. This sequence is much more entertaining than anything in Dr. No. From Russia with Love still holds up today as its own, standalone movie. Though it faces very stiff competition from Casino Royale, objectively it's just the best movie in the franchise.
The song: No title song in the opening credits though Matt Monroe's From Russia with Love plays in the film and at the end. It's a nice dramatic song, I like it a lot.
The girls: While I try to ignore the random gypsy women fight scene, FRWL does feature an awesome Bond girl. Tatiana Romanova, played by Daniela Bianchi. While she doesn't quite escape the "Oh, James!" curse, she does remain relevant to the plot and does have a few moments of action. And she is quite beautiful as well.
I hope you enjoyed my ranking of the 23 Bond movies! I am SO. LOOKING. FORWARD. to Spectre, which comes out this November. The James Bond movie series is one of the most culturally important film series of all time. Its influence on spy movies and action movies in general are far-reaching. The films vary in quality, in tone and in actor but at the same time, it never fails to be itself. And I sincerely hope this series goes on forever.
Like what you read? Please like my blog at Facebook.com/MathurMarquee. Also, follow me on Twitter @HippogriffRider. Agree? Disagree? Sound off in the comments below!
1 comment:
I love all movies
Post a Comment